The world needs more chocolate

i'm so sick of crying.

i wish emotions had an on/off switch. or maybe that people came w/ removable emotion chips like data had in st:tng. or maybe that emotions came w/ expiration dates... or... something...

...i just want it to stop...

lol! y'all remember our senior psych/soc class w/ bardwell? and how she made us make valentines for each other?

i just found my bag full of valentines :-P lots of notebook paper, shredded book covers, and little kid valentines w/ barbie, minnie mouse, etc. lots of thoughtless messages, a few very sweet notes, and ben's cheesy valentines messages that he gave to everyone :-P

happy memories :)

oh! and i just found my tx cross-stitch from 4th grade :) i still haven't finished it, though it is one of my 50 things to do before i die.. :-P maybe i'll work on it this summer... course i say that every few years, but... i'm about to graduate from college. surely i can finish a 4th grade project ;-)

anyway, i'm gonna go back to cleaning out my closet, w/ a fun song stuck in my head

Trout Fishing in America - Big Trouble
"Nobody"

Chorus:
I've got a friend that lives with me,
My friend's name is Nobody.
Nobody plays with me, Nobody loves me.
I've got a friend that you can't see,
My friend's name is Nobody.
Nobody listens, Nobody cares.

One day while playing baseball outside
He broke the window then ran off to hide.
My mom came out and she asked me,
"Who did this?"
I said, "Nobody."
Nobody believed me, mom said I lied.

Chorus

We talk under the covers late at night,
After I have gone to bed, turned out the light.
My dad came in and he asked me,
"Who ya talkin' to?"
I said, "Nobody."
Nobody listens, dad says be quiet.

Nobody sure gets me in trouble.
For Nobody I take a lot of blame.
But if Nobody's gonna be my friend,
I sure wish he'd get another name.

Chorus

Nobody listens, Nobody cares.
Nobody listens, Nobody cares.

I have a song stuck in my head... and b/c i'm *so* generous, i will share it w/ you so you can get it stuck in your head too! it's only fair.. . i don't know how many times people intentionally get multiple songs stuck in my head so i have these horrible mixtures of the phantom of the opera, white christmas, m*a*s*h, and veggie tales stuck in my head :-P it's not nice. very not nice.

anyway. i have a song stuck in my head. and i blame it all on meaghan nicole henderson (shake) for singing it a lot in the band box during football games 4 years ago :-P

Love Potion No. 9

I took my troubles down to Madame Rue.

You know that gypsy with the gold capped tooth

She?s got a pad down on 34th and Vine,

Selling little bottles of Love Potion #9.

I told her that I was a flop with chicks.

I?ve been this way since 1956.

She looked at my palm and she made a magic sign.

She said what you need is Love Potion #9.

She bent down and turned around and gave me a wink.

She said I?m gonna make it up right here in the sink.

It smelled like turpentine, and looked like Indian ink.

I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink!

I didn?t know if it was day or night.

I started kissing everything in sight.

But when I kissed a cop down on 34th and Vine.

He broke my little bottle of Love Potion #9.

(instrumental)

I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink!

I didn?t know if it was day or night.

I started kissing everything in sight.

But when I kissed a cop down on 34th and Vine.

He broke my little bottle of Love Potion #9.

Love Potion #9...

Love Potion #9...

Love Potion #9...

i had to write a letter introducting myself to my cooperating teacher for my student teaching in the fall yesterday... i didn't do a very good job, and i spent today thinking of what i would've said if i could've been truly honest...

Bio

i am an over-achieving procrastinating obsessive-compulsive stubborn perfectionistic packrat, who's addicted to music, books, and writing. i would rather look at life with bluntly honest practicality, though i have this annoying habit of being unrealistically optimisticly hopeful. i love challenges, yet stress out over them. i get upset w/ people who don't do things correctly, yet often don't do the same things i get upset over (like getting frustrated w/ people who play the flute wrong, or ads that have a flute in them but it's not held anywhere near right, yet i have fun holding the flute backwards w/ my hands in the wrong place and still playing it that way... ) i have eyes that are just as ad/hd as my hair - sometimes blue, sometimes geen, sometimes gray, sometimes all and neither at the same time (and likewise sometimes straight, curly, an everything in between yet avoiding agreement between any two strands - yet brown is pretty consistent..if you ignore the fact that it used to all be blond). i am too tall, yet not tall enough. my feet are just big enough to prevent finding cute shoes. my fingers are too long, my hands too big, and i have cat toes (but at least i can wrte with them). i'm addicted to chocolate, cheeseball, and personality tests (although the tests can't ever decide what my personaities really are - i always end up w/ conflicting results). i want a white Christmas, but am unwillingto travel anywhere else to find one. i want one here. i'm too independent to the point of wanting to do everything on my own, yet strangely overly dependent on people i'm an american and a Texan who is stubbornly loyal, while recognizing the problems with both (though that doesn't change my loyalty a bit). i firmly believe that God sent His Son to die for my sins and through His gift to me, i am now a child of God, yet i often don't act like one. i know that God is love and that He loves all the little rag dolls that He created so much more than we can ever imagine, yet i have extreme difficulties remebering and living like He truly does love *me*, or like anybody does for that matter.

i guess that's ''me'' in fewer words than i used in my letter of introduction, and if you wanted it even shorter, perhaps just ''confused paradox'' would do.